Pro-Sex, Anti-Sexualization, That's Me.

You learn more about a book you've written--and what you think about a subject--after it comes out. Once you're on the road and talking about it and seeing what resonates with people. It clarifies your ideas outside of your own head. One of the things I talk about a lot these days is being anti-sexualization of little girls, but pro-sex. That, in fact, being anti-sexualization IS being pro-sex because premature sexualization (which is beautifully defined by the American Psychological Association) UNDERMINES healthy sexual development and is, I'm convinced, part of the reason we see girls making poor choices, acting against their own self-interest, defining their sexuality, femininity and worth as a woman based on how they appear to guys.  The reason sexuality becomes a performance rather than felt experience. The reason they learn they are supposed to be desireable, but not understand their own desire. And I also believe that has implications far beyond the bedroom. So I was really thrilled that Koa Beck of highlighted that aspect of the NYC panel I was part of in this post on We talk a lot about our concerns and hopes for girls in the academic and professional realm, and we talk freely about body image issues, but this conversation is still too often under wraps.